There was a time not so long ago where if someone told me I wouldn't love my career, I would've laughed. The role that I once loved has morphed into a frustrating, mundane and ridiculously boring "job". It does not stimulate me, use many, if any, of my abilities and it actually drains the life out of me on a daily basis.
What changed? Well, in short - about 85% of what I did do (the part I loved) has been reallocated. Our department has gone through a re-organization which has left me doing the 15% of the job that I disliked as my everyday. EVERY. DAY.
Over 4 years and 2 maternity leaves (that have screwed me left right and centre) the event planning, crossover with other departments, committees and creativity has been removed.
The first time I came back, I missed the boat on a new full-time position as I was in baby land and couldn't see passed the fact that I would be off for a year. I was lucky enough though that the new person was pregnant when I returned and I went right into her job when I came back. Oh the joy! Event planning, on campus visits, promotional product picking, marketing, presenting, working with other departments and my favourite, shaping young minds who weren't quite sure where to turn. I was in love, and I was damn good at it. For one year...
When I went back into my old role the parts above had been taken by the new position but we still were out on the road, going to high schools, meeting with our school offices, giving tours and able to help people find their way. It wasn't perfect but it was still good, very good!
The second time I came back it was to a "pilot" (quotations are used because everything I've seen about this pilot seems to read "this is not a pilot we are restructuring your area and that is that"). I was off on maternity leave when I heard of said pilot, and I had co-workers who had been in the position for years calling me and emailing me who were furious. I was still in my land of babies and had my head in the sand.
Our roles which used to be very diverse and had a two very different aspects were streamlined. We were split. My boss decided that because I had a young family that I would like the part of the job where I worked 830-430, Monday-Friday. She didn't ask, she decided. She also decided that two of the most junior people should be the "coordinators" of the two areas (one who had only been in the role for 7 months and was fresh out of university) both of whom have never questioned anything in their lives and are very good at saying "yes". When I asked why I wasn't considered as I'd excelled on both sides she said "you weren't here". I'm pretty sure that is illegal.
So, I thought to myself, well I would like to work 830-430 rather than the shifted hours, I'll see my babies more often, provide them with stability and I can handle it - I'll push through. Boy, was I wrong. I sit at a desk and answer emails and phone calls. I enter in numbers. Then I repeat. The "coordinator" roles have taken all the departmental crossover, the projects that used to stimulate our brains, the last of the event planning and left us with a job that monkeys could do. It is so depressing. SO. DEPRESSING. To top it off, the amount of work I do is enough for at least another employee in peak times, so much so that I feel like I can't even keep my head around what I have to do. We went from 7 employees to 4 with the same, if not more work.
I approached my boss a few months back and told her I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this for my life, that it was horrible for my mental health and that although this role is better for my family I need to be on the other side to keep myself going. She acknowledged what I said told me it would be tough to be on the other side with a family and I honestly feel in my heart that she was just listening as she has to and that nothing will happen.
You say quit? Oh, how I would love to.
Now I have to mention that I love my co-workers, the "job" pays well, has benefits, a good amount of vacation and is literally 5 minutes from home.
Sigh. FML.
