Mean girls.

Yes, the good old mean girl. I, like most people have one in me and she sneaks out here and there to make an appearance. Mostly, she reminds me of the person I used to be and am now embarrassed about. Don't get me wrong, I am not perfect - I still make fun, I still judge but I try hard not to unless it's in good fun with good friends and isn't taken seriously.

So as background, in public and high school I was on a mission to create a level playing field. I decided it was my purpose to ensure that the kids who "thought" they were cool (which was obviously my decision if they were deemed real cool or fake cool) that were mean to the actually nice not-so-cool kids were put in their place. So for instance, if Susan thought she was cool and made fun of Sophie who was a nice girl and didn't bother anyone I would make Susan's life a living hell.

I've explained this to people umpteenth times and everyone says "there's nothing wrong with that!" but oh my friend, there is. You see, I run into the people I decided to put in there place all the time. I live in the same town I grew up in. I am ashamed of how I acted and treated people just because I didn't agree with how they acted. Due to this, when one of them is serving me at a restaurant I hid my face and it even made me avoid getting into social media because I'd left that person behind and didn't want it to re-surface courtesy of others.

My latest "it always comes back tenfold" happened last night when I was working at my new job. I thought I saw someone I was not so nice to and it turns out he is now my co-worker - was just hired. Awesome, not. So not. I dodged him to high heaven last night and I am so nervous for what our first conversation will be like.

I started thinking about why I was the way I was and I actually think the whole "level playing field" was just an excuse to be mean to people because I was angry and upset about my parents splitting up so I decided to find a way to get my aggression out that no one would really call me out on. Pretty smart for a 12 year old, hey? However, I found myself out - about 18 years later. I'll catch you my pretty!

Anyways, my plan is to just be my real, self-assured self with anyone from the past I may meet. If it comes up, damn right I'm going to apologize but if it doesn't perhaps they're over it and have realized I was just an angry teen whose parents were in the middle of a divorce and was lashing out at whoever I felt I could without jeopardizing my morals too much.

Sometimes mean girls are mean for life, sometimes they grow-up. I'm in the adolescent stage and I hope I reach adulthood soon. I guess I'm going to find out soon when I have to confront my evil ways head on.

Now that was a difference post wasn't it? Interesting.

Baby crack withdrawals

Just for the hell of it. I thought that would be a fun title and I think I might be going through them.

Day two of back to work and man oh man I do not know how people get used to spending SO little time with their wee ones. It's fantastic working again and seeing all my work peeps but WHOA talk about an adjustment. I mean you go from 12 hours to 3 hours a DAY. WTF.

No idea how he or I will handle it if I get a part-time job on top of going back to work.

On the positive side babycakes is doing really well at his daycare home and I feel really comfortable with his sitter (who happens to be my girlfriends girlfriend - definitely helps).

I'm already dreaming up ways that I can be with him more often - job sharing, selling our house and working part-time evenings etc. everyone says you get used to it but I really can't see how it's possible.

Another thing that this time of year got me thinking is how awful it is that people want their kids to go back to school so they stop bothering them. I know I'm not in the position or anything but man - you brought these bundles of joy into the world and now you want them to leave you alone? Weird. Did you think it was going to be a super easy job? C'mon peeps!

Anywho, just an observation that I'd like to not follow the trend on. I'd prefer to work say 4-5 hours when the babe goes to bed so if anyone upstairs is listening and can make that happen you'd have a very happy camper down here. I might even go to church - PUH-LEASEEEEEEEE!!

Ta-ta.

Shreddin' it up

Anyone heard of the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred?

I hadn't until one of hubbies friends wives told me about it. Said it kicks your you know what in a 20 minute workout and that you honestly get results.

Sounds good right? So I'm on day 4 and haven't actually had the moment when I think - oh shit I have to do that workout again and my head chants "I hate it, I hate it, I hate it".

When I'm doing the workout the end is in sight right from the very beginning...halfway through when I feel like punching myself in the face I think, hey, 10 more minutes...YOU CAN DO IT and I do.

So 4 days in and I feel good. I'm taking pictures daily of myself and will post photo of day 1 and photo of day 30 when I'm done. Let's hope the resuts are good. I have to tone down my eating but hey, I'm working out and that's half the battle.

So, for all of you thinking "I should" just do it, 20 minutes baby, 20 minutes.

Oh and if you want more deets about it basically it's 3 different circuits and they each are on a 3-2-1 basis. Three minutes strength, two minutes cardio and one minute abs.

Shred baby, shred!

Crushin' the ceiling.

Hm. Interesting title you say? Yes, it is isn't it!

So I said I was going to talk career moves in my next post...so here they are.

#1 - (and short term) I applied to a new role in my department which is a 1 year maternity leave position. I was urged to take the role before I left (which was full-time at that point and was filled with a girl who is now pregnant) but I didn't like the idea of going away for a year and having a contract person mould the brand new position and then come back and have to execute what they'd put together. Just didn't sit well with me. Looks like everything happens for a reason and the job is open as for September and guess when I go back to work? That's riiiiight - September. Done and done - I got it in the bag (not that I've interviewed yet but I just know it).

#2 - (not sure how long this will last) I'm getting a part-time job. I went for an interview at The Keg on Tuesday and after meeting with both the hiring manager and the scheduling manager I'm pretty sure that's in the bag. Training won't start until mid-August in hopes that the people they hire will be G2G in early September - I'm hoping the job will be fun (young people to work with and happy people on a fancy night out) as well as earn some extra loot for the much needed house related things we have coming up in the fall - such as a new furnace (2500) and a new ac unit (2500) in the spring. We're also going to need a new roof soon and I got a quote for that - $5000 bucks. FML.  So yes, a second job is required and I'm doing my best to be a positive patty about it. Other bonuses to working here are that we get discounts (YUM!) and they're only open for dinner so say from 3 or 4 p.m. (depending on weekday or weekend) and they close at 10. So all I'll really be missing babywise is dinner and bedtime which is the crankiest period anyways.

#3 - (long-ish term) I applied a month ago or so for a management position at the College and didn't get it because I applied too late and they were already conducting 2nd interviews (I got a call from my mentor the day after I applied saying they'd hired someone - BOO!). It showed that it was a full-time forever type job on the website but I heard through the grapevine that the person they hired they only offered a contract of 1 year to because they weren't sure he could hack it. I WILL GET THIS JOB IF IT COMES UP. No doubt, no doubt.

#4 - (SO LONG TERM IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY) I will be the Director of Communications and Marketing. I'm going to get my BPA in Communication Studies from Athabasca or I'll wait it out and see if UOIT offers something to DC staff. I'm not sure which route I'll take at the moment but I'm a big believer in things just falling into place so I'm hoping this will too! I worked in the department before, love it and just know it's my end spot. Not only will I love the job but I will also make it on the SUNSHINE LIST. Ya boyeee!

So, now that I've just put this on paper I'm accountable right? RIGHT!

Sweet.

MUST GO!

http://thetablebycarol.ca/

SO PUMPED....only a 10 minute walk from home!

Life is about to get crazy!

Not only is Alex going back to work after a 2 week hiatus but I'm in the home stretch of maternity leave. I will officially be back to work the day after Labour Day and although I have completely and utterly loved my time off I'm pretty excited to get my brain back into gear. As a kid I always thought my dream was to be a stay at home mom (perhaps because that's what I grew up with until about grade 8) but after being one for a year I know I'll be "ok" going back to work but I also know I'd love to work say, 20 hours a week versus 40. Unfortunately, that's not going to be possible (see a post a few back if you need more details) for a while so going back to a job I love, with people I adore suits me about as best as it can at this point in time. I am seriously going to crave - best word I could come up with - seeing my little man and I know I am going to cry for a week but I can do it. I know it. What I need to focus on is that I'm going to have PERSONAL TIME EVERYDAY FOR A WHOLE 8 HOURS (while AWAKE!!!) - no poopy diapers, no barfs, no nap schedules, a quiet lunch...(I'm trying to make myself feel better here but none of the things I just wrote actually bother me all that much) but also no snuggles, smiles, belly laughs, walks, dance parties, park trips or lunches smeared from head to toe etc.
I am so happy that the woman we're leaving our beast with is fantastic. I can literally see the love pouring out at her from the kids she already watches and one of the Mom's is keeping her kid with her 2 days a week because she'd miss her too much. Now that's what you want in a daycare!!
Okay, more to come. Maybe not baby related....next time I'm going to write about some career moves I'm going to make this year. It's going to happen because I'm going to make it happen - just because that's what I do. BAM.

Oh how I love my family!

Elbeanio, Lillymanilly and Balboski-pie. Jungle Cat World - June 4, 2012.

Meaghan and Emma came to visit and we had such a fabulous time! It was Emma's birthday so we had a mini birthday party on Sunday evening with all the local family members. Great dinner conversation as usual (which means it was all inappropriate!).

Lilly came to our house for the day instead of going to daycare on Monday so she, Emma and Meaghan could get to know each other better since they don't get to see each other often living a few hours away. We had sucha fabulous day! We went to Jungle Cat World and were about 4 feet away from so many crazy animals - lions, jaguars, tigers, hyenas, lynx and more. So amazing. The wee ones all got to feed a donkey and we had a peacock jump up on our picnic table trying to get at our lunch. Lilly and Emma had a fabulous time and Noah was so excited he wanted to walk everywhere. After 2 hours they were all smiles and we got this shot of them on the lion.

Such great memories.